Alissa and I have been parents for 24 yrs. We have children ranging from 23 to 2 1/2 years old. Our oldest is married with our first grandchild. As part of those 24 years, we have been foster parents for 10 plus years. We have adopted one and will soon adopt our second. Additionally, Alissa has been baby sitting since an early age, which brings her experience with children close to 40 years. All that being said, parenting is hard! There are significant challenges to be navigated.
Here is the third of six of those challenges.
CHALLENGE #3 – Investing your time wisely
This is simple. But simple is not easy. If you want to have a relationship with your teenager, be willing to play legos on the floor with your toddler. If you want to have a conversation with your young adult about who to marry, be willing to listen to your adolescent when they’re bullied in middle school.
Recently we pulled out our VERY old camcorders. We spent a few hours watching home movies, some going back over 20 years. In one of them, I watched myself play in the yard with a hose with my oldest, Joshua, at age 2. I told my kids, “Well, I guess I’m proud to say not much has changed. I was doing the same thing with Levi this past Summer.” Joshua is now 23 and Levi is 2.
NAVIGATING PRINCIPLE: Time invested today is a foundation laid for tomorrow.
You can either arrive at the future with gratefulness or regret. Because transition is coming!
Change is easy, transition is hard. Change is situational, transition is emotional and psychological. Change is external, transition is internal. The starting point for change is the “arrival” (the outcome, what we’re aiming for). The starting point for transition is the “departure” (the end, what we’re losing or leaving behind). For example, my son Joshua getting married was a change. My daughter, Hannah, getting married was a change. My third oldest, Aidan, leaving for college was a change. These are all external changes that arrived on a particular day at a specific time. The internal transition for me since that moment, though, has been harder than I expected.
I’ve had to learn to let go of the loss that begins a transition.
With Aidan it was no longer hearing him call to me from his room to come watch this sports clip or listen to this new song.
With Hannah it was no longer needing to program the coffee pot for her at night and coming downstairs and not seeing her on the couch in the morning.
With Joshua it was no longer having his music take over mine during dinner time. (Surprise! This still happens!)
I’m learning to navigate and hold on in this “neutral zone” as I transition from an old reality to a new one. From coming home to all my children every day and night to a new beginning as the older ones build their own lives. Yet, this transition also offers a profound new joy. A new season of deepening relationship with Adelyn, Emagine and Levi.
I’m enjoying both the foundation I invested in with my older children and the investment I’m making in the foundation with my younger children. It’s an amazing season of life and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Dear parent, invest wisely. It’s never too early nor too late to start.
Pastor Jonathan