It was over ten years ago. I was in a three year Elim Fellowship training course for young leaders called “Wings”. This particular weekend was teaching and training on “preaching”. To my knowledge I had already been preaching longer than anyone else in my cohort. So, to be honest, I felt I needed the course the least.

Our instructor was Mike Cavanaugh, well known in my circles for being a great preacher. He had in fact also been a pastor here in Oswego at Elim Grace. The end goal that weekend was for everyone in the cohort to preach a short sermon. Mike would then “grade” or make comments on the preacher and their preaching. I was selected as one of the last to go.

I remember spending Friday night in preparation and feeling that I was “ready”. That Mike would be pleased.

As we began to preach our sermons, Mike offered a stream of positive and encouraging comments. Everyone was doing the right thing in the right way. And then it was my turn. The most “experienced” preacher. I preached, sat down, and Mike stood up for the first time: “Thank you Jonathan, I finally have something to talk about.” He proceeded to offer observations, corrections and constructive criticisms. “Embarrassed” was how I felt, but that would be the wrong word. “Humbled” would be the right one. It was the worst and yet the best thing that ever happened to me as a preacher.

I was never the same after that. Yes, the practical side of my preaching went on to improve. But I mean my heart was never the same after that. I’m convinced God used that moment to work deep humility in me as a preacher. And I hope the fruit of that humility and repentance is something Elim Grace has reaped. And, by God’s grace, will continue to reap. That experience with Mike stands as a “living monument” in my life.

To grow in our calling, in our gifting, in our serving there must come times of deep humbling. It’s more than embarrassment over how bad you did something you claimed to be good at. It’s a breaking down and crushing of pride in the heart. Self-reliance. Self-affirmation. Self-exaltation and self-glory.

I always thought God’s anointing on me to preach was solely because he was being faithful to me and to my preparation. But now I see that His anointing comes because He is first and foremost faithful to His word. He is His word. Therefore, His Word is glorious and powerful. Living and active. I am as a preacher but a “jar of clay”. Filled to be emptied over and over again for the sake of the people God’s called me to. I know now that before (if ever) I strive to be the best preacher in the world, I should surrender to becoming the best preacher for my flock.

If we were always self-aware and self-forgetful, there would never be any need for humbling experiences. But we’re not always. We’re not usually! Humility strikes us by surprise. It ambushes us when we least expect it. Often in times when we feel stronger than all. Wiser than all. Better than all. Yet, if God’s loves you, that’s exactly when He disciplines you as any good, wise and loving father would do.

Dear Elim Grace, don’t despise the humbling. Don’t walk away from your calling. Don’t quit on your training. Don’t give up on the good work God’s called you to. Humility is the best thing that will ever happen to you. The fruit overtime will prove it.

Pastor Jonathan