My oldest, Joshua, is married to Hayley and they now have a son, William. My first grandchild! My second oldest, Hannah-jae, is getting married to Jonah this Fall. My third oldest, Aidan, is attending college in Rochester this August. Adelyn will be a freshman in high school. Emagine will be 11. And our foster baby is 16 months old (whom we hope to adopt this year).

In all of this, I’ve begun to look back on my seasons as a father. I’m grateful for each. Yet in reflecting on it, I think the single greatest thing I’ve been able to give my children across every season is this: I was home (almost) every night. 

I have made it a point in my work/ministry over the last 23 years (and especially in the last 7 as Senior Pastor) to schedule no night meetings. Of course, there have been exceptions and a season may require it in the short-term, but as much as it depended upon me, I was home every night.

Preaching is not my utmost priority. Ministry is not my utmost priority. Elim Grace is not my utmost priority. My utmost priority is my wife and my children. Someone else could and can preach. Some one else could and can pastor Elim Grace. Someone else could and can run an important meeting and make strategic decisions. 

But no on else could nor can be husband to Alissa-jae or father to my children (or now grandfather to my grandchildren).

I recognize not every father can be home every night. But the fact remains that the single greatest thing a father can give to his children is time. And as much as it depends upon you, dear father, you should strive and work and sacrifice towards spending as much time as you can with them. 

Eat dinner with your children as often as possible. Read a book to them. Listen and learn and have conversations with them. Watch a show or a movie of their choice together. Play Madden with them even though you’re going to lose. Listen to (and learn to enjoy!) their music and share your music with them. Text, and read/reply to their texts. Laugh at the reels they send you and send them the reels you find funny. Hug them. Kiss them. Tell them you love them. Show them you’re proud of them.

Money can’t make up for lost time. Gifts can’t make up for lost time. Other people’s admiration can’t make up for lost time. I dare say it, repentance can’t make up for lost time. Time makes up for lost time. 

It’s never too late to give your time to your children. In any amount, it’s an investment worth making, with a return you won’t ever regret.