Dear Father,
Paul encourages us to a certain path or way of raising our children. We are to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4).
To “bring them up” is a matter of being embodied or physically present with our children. And “present” means with purpose, with intentionality. It means as much as possible and as far as it depends on us, spending time with our children. “(W)hen you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6:7).
The training Paul has in mind is not cold and distant but warm and near. It’s not merely reactive parenting but proactive parenting. It’s not only waiting for opportunities to teach, but seeking them. It’s being actively involved in the details of our children’s lives in order to show our joy in them, give encouragement, practice affirmation, embrace with affection, correct and discipline when necessary with patience.
But what is the discipline and instruction of the Lord?
It is first something that comes from “the Lord”. Therefore, it must conform to or come through the Lord. And if it all comes from and through the Lord, then it always must be for the Lord.
Dear father, we have not because we ask not. We give not because we receive not. As fathers who are first disciples of Jesus Christ, we must be those who ask for themselves to be brought up in the discipline and instruction of our Lord. We must be those who in themselves desire and seek first to be in close relationship with Jesus. He seeks to be with us when we sit, and when we walk, and when we rest, and when we rise. He is ever present and always faithful.
If we have done and are doing this, then the discipline and instruction of the Lord will flow out in both our actions and our words.
ACTIONS
With our actions we will model and live out the life of Christ. Remember, Jesus is more than our role model. He is more than an example we look up to. He is the living Christ, “Christ who lives in me” (Galatians 2:20). His resurrection power lives in us. The transforming power of His love lives in us.
As we come to Jesus and follow Him, as we are convicted by the Spirit and confess our sins to God, as we admit wrong to our children and repent, as we are forgiven and clothed with humility, as we are changed into God’s image from one degree of glory to another, as we walk in daily obedience and love our neighbors, as we walk in loving sacrifice and serve our wife, our life reflects and glorifies our Lord and Savior before the eyes of our children. His character, the fruit of the Spirit, shows itself in our affections, attitudes and actions. We live out of a new center of life: a river of living waters flowing out of our heart. One does not force the flow of a river in flood anymore than the river of God flowing free and full out of the heart and life of a father alive in Jesus.
WORDS
But not only with our actions do we bring our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We also accomplish this with and through our words. Our words bring life, inspire, shape, mold, illuminate. We are with our words to teach them and show them the Word of God.
If we have been shaped by the Word of God in Jesus Christ and the words of God in Scripture, then we will be able to not only tell but also show with our words who God is, what His commands and promises are, how the world in all its beauty and brokenness finds its meaning and significance in God, how our every need and desire finds ultimate fulfillment in Christ alone, what contradictions lie within our secular thinking and surrounding culture, where the limits of our human wisdom and pursuit of happiness point us, what true mercy and justice look like, how forgiveness is the only hope for healthy and fruitful relationships and communities, how suffering in the end cannot take away our joy in Jesus.
We need not be endlessly talking to teach our children all these things. Rather, our words (and actions) under the shaping and guidance of the Holy Spirit will be like “apples of gold in a setting of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). Timeless and timely. Eternal and relevant.
Dear father, the calling is immense but the power and resources of God are unlimited. You are loved, called, appointed, equipped and empowered to be a father for such a time as this. In God you lack nothing of all you need to bring up and nourish your children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Pastor Jonathan