Dear Elim Grace, let’s be honest: do we practice praise and affirmation?

Are you a praiser or a complainer? Do you find it easy and natural to find the bad or the ugly in something? In your morning, the weather, your food, your house, your spouse, your job, your car, your church — there’s always something you find that makes you unhappy and grumpy. In other words, you praise little because you find little to praise, to affirm, to commend.

Or are you the kind of person to find it easy and natural to see the good and the beautiful in all places, in all things, at all times? You praise much because you find much to praise, to affirm, to commend.

We are either poor of heart, lacking in praise, or generous of heart, abundant in praise. “I had not noticed,” says C.S. Lewis, “how the humblest, and at the same time most balanced and capacious minds, praised most, while the cranks, misfits, and malcontents praised least…Praise is inner health made audible.”

“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord,” proclaims the Psalmist (Psalm 150:6). Praise should be as easy and as natural to us as our breathing is.

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31) Do we see the good and the beautiful in everything God has made? All of God’s works — all He has made, fashioned, gifted, inspired, accomplished — are praiseworthy. We should, therefore, praise the praiseworthy and commend the commendable. “A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30) Failure to do so is disobedience before the God who Himself praises and affirms all He has done. 

For the redeemed of the Lord, there should be a double portion of praise abounding on their lips. Not only do they see what God has done in His common grace for all people everywhere, but they also “taste and see” of the goodness of God in their salvation. Their praise flows from a heart that has been “born again” to new life in Christ. They now “see” with “eyes of the heart” that have been healed and opened by God. They see with wonder the transformation and the character of Christ, the fruit of the Spirit, in a heart that has been made new. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Yes, every good thing that proceeds from being “born from above” by the power of the Spirit has been bought with the precious blood of Jesus. To behold, then, in your husband or wife, in your son or daughter, in your friend or fellow believer, the “Christ who lives in me,” and the working out of God’s salvation in them and in the world, is to behold a work of immense and immeasurable glory, goodness, and beauty.

Do you practice affirmation? Do you affirm in others what you see? Do you praise what is praiseworthy in them to the glory of God — with an eye towards his glory, with a passion for His glory, with a satisfaction in His glory? You must with your tongue “as the pen of a ready writer” tell them. And tell them face to face, in private first whenever possible. The world need not know. It’s that person who should know. Public praise is simply private praise overheard. If I praise my wife, Alissa, to all the world, but never face to face, in private, all the praise in the world will amount to nothing. All the loud and clamorous praise can never make up for saying sincere words of praise and affection to her and to her only. 

We see a lot of public “praise” on social media, but social media today can be too often about praising the praise and praising the praiser. It’s a temptation towards self-seeking, self-serving praise. If I see someone praising their wife — husband, children, mother, church, anything at all — well, then, I can praise my wife better than you can yours. “Look at how well I praise! Look at how often I praise! Look at how much I praise!” This kind of praise is worthless, in that it adds no value, no measure of true and lasting glory and joy, to one’s life.

Again, praise is inner health made audible. The healthy person praises. The healthy marriage praises. The healthy family praises. The health friendship praises. The healthy church praises. The healthy organization praises. The healthy culture praises. In all these a healthy relationship has been established. First, a healthy relationship to God and, then and only then, to everything else in its proper place and order under Him. A life in right relationship will always be praise-filled, as a garden well cultivated will always be fruitful.  

Let’s be honest, Elim Grace: Do we practice affirmation? Do we praise well, easy, natural? When was the last time you praised Jesus? Your wife? Your husband? Your children? A friend? A stranger? Even an enemy? 

When was the last time you enjoyed the gift of life in a stunning sunset, the sound of the wind, a beautiful piece of music, the aroma of coffee, the smile and laughter of someone you love,…? Or the gift of new life in the assurance of the Father’s love, the gentle whisper of the Spirit, the presence of Jesus in a difficult moment? 

Jesus’s promise and assurance to His people was that the Spirit would come, fill, and “write” upon our heart new desires now. That by the Spirit we would be transferred into a new kingdom and way of living both in and under the dominion of God now. That through the Spirit we would live in God’s presence and know fulness of joy now. That in the renewal and shaping power of the Spirit our heart would become a temple of the living God now. And since a temple is to be filled with praise, a sure sign, if not the first sign, that we are filled with the life of the Holy Spirit is that we are found faithfully and joyfully praising and “telling of the mighty works of God” now (Acts 2:11).