“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14  

A goal for growing in wisdom is to be able to make good and right decisions. However, wisdom is not simply information or knowledge about what you should or should not do. It is “know-how,” meaning, not simply what you know in any given circumstance, but how you know in any given circumstance. To be wise is not in what you do as much as it is in who you are.

Now, wisdom as character is developed not in isolation from others, but in community with others. Furthermore, we will learn most profoundly not from what the wise do, but from how the wise think. In wanting to imitate someone, though, we often reverse this and believe that if we simply do what they do, we will live like they do. But they do what they do because they think like they do—they “feel their way” through life through wisdom.

If you want to “get” wisdom and become wise, then it is wise to seek wisdom beyond your own. We are never as wise or as strong as we believe we are. Here are four situations where the hard decision you need to make might be protected from error by seeking counsel:

1) When many lives will be impacted — it could be your wife and/or children and the new city or job you are considering; it could be your church, organization or small business and the people you are leading towards embracing change; it could be a group of students you teach and the way they learn. When a decision you make will affect many lives and many futures, seek wisdom.

2) When there’s confusion — many times our problem isn’t believing that we don’t have the answer, but believing that no one else does. We can’t know what we don’t know until someone shows us. Don’t push or pray or analyze your way through confusion. Ask for help, direction, insight.

3) When relationships are at stake — if your decision has the potential to disrupt friendships or relationships, whether your own or of others, consider asking for wisdom. Many decisions involving people are motivated by good intentions but steered by bad timing or handling. A quick email or call asking for advice can make all the difference.

4) When there’s deep reservation or uncertainty — there’s a difference between the positive stress of accepting new challenges and the negative stress of operating beyond your capacity. If you’re unsettled in your heart or uncertain in your mind, look for guidance. A trustworthy guide will show you more of the hidden snares and treasures of a foreign land than you might ever discover on your own.